Here we go again.. =(

Here we go again.

2'ish weeks ago or ago, I started to have pretty bad stomach pains again...
One night, it was almost as bad as childbirth.. I went to the hospital.. They couldn't find anything... NOT surprising, that always happens.. I have no clue why this happens..
I'm back to hurting every day.. New medications.. New doctors.. New tests.. I'm so fed up..
I can do stuff up until about 2pm... then I start to ache... by dinner.. I cant really get up...
I eat *maybe* 2 meals a day.. On a good day.. So far, Ive lost 7 lbs in 2 weeks..
Its not a fun way to live..
It's hard being Mommy like this.. I feel so guilty about not being what I should be..

I don't know if its worth looking into though.
Every doctor just writes me off.. As soon as they hear "No large intestine .. 1/3 small.. " .. Its "WELL no wonder you hurt.. " I DO NOT HURT ALL THE TIME.. something is WRONG.. "You're lucky you live like you do.. "
Im lucky? Really? I'm 26 and I feel 80...  I can't function sometimes.. (Like now)...
I dont feel very lucky..

I'm afraid of it getting as bad as it was in high school.
They pulled me out of school.. I was bedridden.. Lost 40 lbs in 9 months.. I looked like (and felt like) death.. At my graduation rehearsal, kids were asking me if I was dying... No joke...
It all started out like this..
I just keep hoping things will someday be different..