Identity crisis, 6 months, stubborn girly!

Its been too long, sorry.
Everything here is starting to look up.
I went through a little mental crisis, but I think I'm ok now.

Wes is 6 months old!!!!
I can't believe it..
A few weeks ago, he was almost 19 lbs and 24'ish inches long!
He started to sit up about a week ago. He refuses to lay back at all any more, and wants to do everything.. He loves to sit on the floor and play with his (and his sisters) toys..
Favorite food lately is ... PEAS!!! Crazy..
OHHHH.. I noticed 2 little white bumps on his lower gums a few days ago!
His personality has blossomed lately, I love it. He's exactly like his dad..
He barely ever gets upset, but when he does.. wow.. He never gives us any warning that something is wrong.. He goes from 0-60.. "Im great" to "OMG HELP!" .. There's no in between with him.
He's not as snuggly as Kadyn was. He'd much rather just play on the floor next to your feet.
He loves his sister more than anything, but he can't stand it when she gets too close to his face.
He's just a happy, calm, sweet little boy.

Kadyn
We're still struggling with her.
She's me.. stubborn...
The potty training this has been horrible. I don't know what else to possibly do!
I'm trying to just let her be.. I know she'll do it in her time.. She's been that way with everything else.. When she decides to do something, she does it and never looks back... Nobody can push her to do anything. (me)
Her being like me is scary sometimes. I don't want her to struggle like I have. I have a hard time just being myself, and I don't want that for her. I remember people laughing when I said "I hope she's like her dad.." when I was pregnant... I really meant it!
I love her with everything I have though.. She's SO smart.. She picks stuff up that you didn't even know she heard. She amazes me every single day. Kadyn has always been the type that LOVES to learn, and I love that about her. I hope she embraces her intelligence, I didn't. I know she'll do extremely well in school, we just need to get rid of the diapers!! They're holding her back in so many ways.
I love watching her "mother" her brother. She checks on him, makes sure he's happy, gets him toys, helps to feed him.. She's an awesome big sister!

Josh
We had a rough patch, but its better. I was having a really hard time with life, and I pushed him away.. Far away.. I'm trying to fix it though.. We sat down 2 days ago and really talked things through. He told me that he "sort of" resented me for not working, but wanted me to stay home with the kids. He said he knew it made no sense, but he couldn't help it. I explained that it was NEVER my intention to stay home after the kids started school. We talked about MY future. I'm going to start looking for a school.. I need to figure out what I want to do though. I'm having a hard time with that. He said he'd be happy to pay for whatever I wanted to do, and had no clue that I wanted to even work... We'll see how that goes..
He surprised me with a new phone yesterday! He really does care, and I need to stop being such a shit... lol..

Me - I've been a hot mess. I have moments where I panic about being so settled.. Well, that moment lasted a lot longer than I wanted it to. I feel like I've lost a lot of my identity. Ive pin-pointed what I need to do to fix it though, and I'm working on it. I'm going to be taking a LITTLE bit of myself back. I refuse to let my children be affected by it though. They don't need to be involved in mommy's identity crisis. They haven't done anything wrong, and I will continue to be the mom that I've been.
I also made a doctor's appointment. My side has been hurting (another reason I freaked out) and my panic attacks are in full force. I need to get straightened out again, and I've admitted that I can't do it all by myself.
I think school will help.. Right now, I think I'll be doing the billing and coding program.. It'll add to my medical background, help me pay for school, and give me something to fall back on if I need it. I WANT a degree though, more than I've wanted anything *in a long time*.. Nobody thinks I can do it.. Screw that though.. I think people forget how driven I can be.