Struggling.

I'm struggling.
Wes is teething.
Kadyn is throwing tantrum after tantrum.
We're in the middle of the shut down.
I don't have my medication.
Josh and I keep fighting..
My mom keeps having scare after scare..
I just don't know how much more I can handle!
I try.. I TRY SO HARD to act like nothing's wrong. I try to keep it all together and just smile..
Most of the time, on the outside.. I look fine..
I feel like I'm fighting non-stop.

I want to throw my hands up and say "Im done!"
I dont feel that way often.
I feel so disconnected from everybody right now.
I don't want to do this any more. I don't want to STRUGGLE any more!!!
EVERY single time I feel like I'm getting ahead, something knocks me back 10 feet.
If I stop hiding that I'm upset, people hate me..
If I pretend everything's fine.. I hate me...
I just don't know any more.