First REAL entry.

Hey guys.
New computer.. New blog...
It was almost impossible to blog on my phone. Usually I ended up writing one sentence, then wanting to throw the phone across the room.
Hubs surprised me with a Toshiba laptop bundle when he came home from work today. Pretty cool huh?! I've just had a good day. My sister also came to visit!! We've all missed her so much.

Life..
Life is good..  I'm finally starting to feel like this place is home. I don't need my GPS to go to the grocery store any more.. We've picked a pediatrician, a dentist and we have a favorite pizza place. Maybe we'll stay here.. lol.. JK... We ARE staying here!
Things are starting to feel familiar. It usually takes me a good year before I don't feel lost any more, so this is nice. I HATED moving away from SC. I thought it was the worst thing ever.. I cried for months.. It was so hard for me to leave everything behind. I see now that it was probably one of the best decisions we've made. I'm much MUCH stronger. I'm not afraid of my own shadow any more. I don't feel like I need to look over my shoulder a million times a day. I'm not afraid to leave the house, and when I get into the car.. I don't feel the need to look around in fear. I'm not afraid of answering the doorbell and I don't care about drama. Its nice to feel that relief and it has definitely changed me as a person. I'm not nearly as negative as I used to be and I feel a lot less stressed out.

The babies.
My GIRLY turned THREE!!! I cannot believe it. She speaks in sentences that I can understand, she knows 1-40, all of her colors and letters, and she even knows how to spell certain words. I'm so proud of her! She's a little fireball. She's a great big sister. She gives Wes kisses 100 times a day, and helps me when she can. She's an independent little thing, don't know where she gets that from. *wink wink* I love her to pieces and I can't wait to see what her future holds.

My Wes! He's 9 weeks old now! He started cooing at me a few days ago and I LOVE it.. He's able to hold his head up for about 30 seconds now. I'm so proud! He's a chunk *of sweetness*.. He filled a hole in our family that I didn't know was even there and I cannot imagine life without him. He wasn't even in existence a year ago. A year ago, we were still saying "I don't know.. Another baby? Maybe"
Crazy!!!!

My health
I have my good days and bad days. Sometimes I have a horrible stabbing pain behind my incision area.. It makes me double over but it only lasts a few minutes at a time. The side pain isn't as bad, but its still there. The first day that I had it after giving birth, I cried.. I was hoping it wouldn't come back. That's one positive thing about pregnancy, the side pain is gone for 9 months!
I'm just happy to still be here.. The last few months have been an uphill battle, but I think I've won.
Josh jokes that I'm a cockroach.. He says that he doesn't worry half as much as he used to, because I've lived through so much. He's confident that I'm not going anywhere. I guess that's a good thing!
Being Mom to 2
There are times that I'm so overwhelmed that I want to run away.. but then 20 minutes later.. I'm overwhelmed with joy because one of the kids did something adorable.. I worry because Kadyn keeps telling me "Don't worry Mommy" ..  Is it that obvious? I'm so afraid of her thinking I'm weak. I worry about being a good roll model for her 24/7, but I guess I need to listen to her. DONT WORRY MOMMY!! STOP!  I know I need to calm down. I DO enjoy my children though. I still stare at my kids when they're asleep and emit Mommy love into the universe. Warm and fuzzy Mommy love. *hah* They're growing so fast, that I really do try to take in every single second. I'm so afraid of forgetting something, or not being there for some amazing moment. I know their childhood will fly by and I want to be there for EVERYTHING. Even though motherhood is a struggle sometimes, I wouldn't change anything about it. Those struggles create motherly wisdom. Gotta have that for when my girly calls me with "Mom!! the baby wont stop crying.. " or "Mom, how do you get gum out of 1 year olds hair?!"..  I will definitely be able to say "Oh hun, been there..." I love the craziness! (Almost as much as I love naptime)
Well guys, until next time!
Much love to all of you
Becky.